


Always Second Guessing

by xhorizen



Series: Take These Broken Wings [4]
Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: F/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 23:21:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15982637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xhorizen/pseuds/xhorizen
Summary: Natalie visits Zac in LA in 2002





	Always Second Guessing

**Author's Note:**

> HanFic Bingo
> 
> Prompt - Consent is Sexy

The worst thing about being signed to a record label was being forced to conform to what they wanted the band to sound like. When Zac was only 10 years old and signed to Mercury Records, he thought that that his entire life was going to be a piece of cake from that point on. He was only 10, so really he couldn’t blame himself for being so naïve, but at 16 years old, he would often think back to that time and laugh. Easy was the last thing he would describe being signed to a label as, especially since their label had been sold and merged with some kind of hip hop label. Hanson could sound like many things, but hip hop was NOT one of them. 

More often than not, Zac would go home at the end of every day more frustrated and confused than the day before. He wanted to cry most days simply because he was exhausted, mentally and physically, and he just wanted to run away and choose a different path in his life. Was making music even worth it anymore? Everything he loved about it, creating something from nothing, turning words into songs, turning sounds into art, was being ripped apart by some idiot’s idea of what main stream music _should_ sound like. His passion was turning rancid, being behind the drums day after day turning into a chore instead of being his happy place. He hated going into the studio every morning, and counted the minutes until they could leave. When did his life go from living his dream to living in his nightmares?

The only thing that got him through most days was knowing that he would be able to go home and call Natalie. She had an uncanny ability to make him forget everything wrong in his life and take him to some alternate reality where they were together, no distance separating them. They tried to see each other as much as possible, but flying to Los Angeles on the weekends wasn’t something Natalie’s parents would let her do more than once a month, and he had a hard time getting away for more than a day at a time to head down to Georgia. He hated the distance so much, but the days they got to spend together made it all worth it. They’d been together for almost two years at that point, and Zac had never been happier - He may have only been 16, but without a doubt in his mind, he knew he was going to marry that girl one day. 

The beginning of February in LA brought more of the same cooler weather that January had, Valentine’s Day, and Natalie. They had managed to talk her parents into letting her have a long weekend, taking off a Friday and a Monday, as a reward for her having straight A’s her entire first semester of senior year. Zac also managed to talk Isaac and Taylor into taking most of the weekend off as well, though they would still need to go to the studio for most of Saturday. He grumbled about the compromise, but realistically knew they could have insisted on working all four days, so he tried to be happy with what he was given. 

The day before Natalie was set to arrive, Zac was practically bouncing off the walls. They hadn’t seen each other since a week before Christmas, and he felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest with excitement. He actually cleaned his room, and cleaned the kitchen, both acts that were so shocking to his brothers that they wouldn’t stop teasing him about it for hours. In order to burn off some energy, he ended up putting on his rollerblades and taking a cruise around the neighborhood, wiping out more than once due to his inability to focus. He knew Natalie would give him crap for it the next day, having scabby elbows at 16 wasn’t as cute as it was at 5, but he didn’t care because he would be seeing her! 

In order to fall asleep, Zac had to drug himself with some Dramamine; he knew he wouldn’t sleep otherwise and he really didn’t feel like being sleepy and grumpy when he picked his girlfriend up from the airport. He was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet as he stood in baggage claim, waiting for her to descend down the escalator. When she finally appeared, they spotted each other at the same time and each broke out in huge, identical grins. She was stuck behind some tourist family, and Zac wanted to scream at them to get the hell out of the way, but managed to hold on to his sanity long enough for them to move and Natalie to appear in front of him. Natalie broke into a run and as soon as she was within arms distance, Zac took a step and scooped her up into a hug, squeezing her so hard he thought he might break her. 

“God, you look beautiful.” He whispered into her ear before setting her down. She blushed, a quality she had never grown out of, and smiled before placing a quick kiss on his lips. 

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” She teased, grabbing his hand and lacing their fingers together. He just laughed and squeezed her hand before leading the way to the car. The drive back to the house they were renting seemed to take longer than usual. He wished he had taken Taylor up on his offer to drive because he would have much rather been in the back seat of the car making out with Natalie than trying to navigate stupid LA traffic, but an hour later, they finally made it back to the house. Isaac and Taylor appeared, giving Natalie hugs and asking about her flight, and Zac wanted to scream. This was his time with her, not theirs, and he really didn’t feel like sharing. Isaac seemed to sense his anxiety, however, and nudged Taylor, giving him the hint to let them go.  
They rushed to his bedroom, giggling like a pair of school girls. He tossed her bag onto the ground before turning to her and grabbing her hands. “I’ve really fucking missed you, Nat.” He breathed out, looking into her eyes before closing the distance between them. The kiss quickly went from gentle and innocent to intense and passionate, hands moving along bodies and lips exploring skin. They ended up on the bed, bodies tangled together, before Natalie pulled away slightly. 

“I missed you so much, Zac.” She bit her lower lip and cast her eyes to the side, away from his eyes. “Before I go, I want to talk to you about something, okay?” Zac felt his heart start racing and his panic must have shown on his face because Natalie looked back at him and laughed lightly. “Not that talk, silly! I’m not breaking up with you, sweetie, I love you. I just want to talk about our future, you and me, together.” 

“We can talk about it now, if you want to.” Zac propped himself up on his elbows, trying to show he was supportive of the idea, even though all he really wanted to do was go back to kissing her. She laughed and shook her head. 

“No, babe, later. Right now, I want to do more of this!” She leaned into his chest and pressed their lips together, all of the urgency of before coming back. 

\--

Saturday morning and afternoon lasted for at least 12 years, at least in Zac’s mind. Natalie joined them at the studio, but he was stuck recording drums on one song for hours on end, and couldn’t join her on the other side. He would almost have preferred to have her stuck at their rental house because at least he wouldn’t be tortured by her presence being so close, but so far away, but then Natalie would have been bored out of her mind and he didn’t want that either. So he sucked it up and made it work, though Taylor yelled at him over a handful of times for messing up on this part or that. He couldn’t help that his attention span was less than that of a goldfish, it was bad on a good day, how was he supposed to control himself with his girlfriend present, right?  
When they finally called it a day, he jumped up from his drum kit and actually danced a happy dance, causing Natalie to laugh in the sound booth. He went to the booth and grabbed her into his arms, placing a big kiss on her lips before pulling away, only slightly. 

“Hey love birds, there’s a party tonight on the beach, you wanna join us?” Isaac got up from his spot at the sound board and gestured to Taylor to indicate they would be going. Zac wanted to decline immediately, but he looked down at Natalie. The look on her face showed him that she clearly wanted to go, so he nodded and smiled, kissing her again. 

“Yeah, sounds cool. However…” He trailed off until his brothers left the room. “We need some alone time after a couple hours, okay? I really don’t like this whole being around other people thing.” She laughed and shook her head as he pouted. 

“Oh shush, I want to go to a real LA party while I’m here, Kate will be so jealous. Maybe we will even see some famous people! Zac took a step back and placed his hand to his chest, a look of mock outrage on his face. 

“Excuse me woman, but you’re dating a famous person!” Natalie rolled her eyes and smiled before taking off out of the room.  
“Sweetheart, if your head was any bigger, you wouldn’t fit through the doorway!” She called back at him. A laugh made its way out of his body and he went running after her, tempted to show her who was boss.

\--

Twenty minutes into the party and Zac was ready to leave. It was the same old thing, he had been to so many of these bonfires that he couldn’t even keep an accurate count anymore, but Natalie was having a blast and he didn’t want to be that asshole who pulled her away. Instead, he took a couple of shots and grabbed a beer before heading over to join her in the sand. She squealed with delight as his arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her close, pressing his cheek into her hair. “I really love you.” He whispered. Natalie turned around in his arms and threw her arms around his neck, bringing her lips to his. She tasted like tequila, a flavor Zac had never particularly enjoyed, but the taste of it on her tongue was intoxicating and he wanted more. He slipped his hands under her shirt and ran his hands along her lower back, groaning into her mouth as he felt the alcohol hit his system. 

“You’re gonna get us in trouble out here, baby.” She pulled away and started to dance to the beat of the music coming from the DJ booth down the way. “Come dance with me.” The smile she gave him lit up her face, her eyes glinted in the moonlight, as cliché as it was, and he couldn’t keep himself away. He wrapped his body around hers, moving his body this way and that, any way he had to go in order to stay touching her. 

They danced for a couple of hours until Zac was so hard he couldn’t stand it. He practically dragged her back to the beach house and her shirt was off before they had even made it to his bedroom. He made sure the door was locked before turning around to see Natalie sitting, naked, on his bed. He groaned as he walked to the bed before he knelt over her, pressing their lips together. “You look so beautiful.” He whispered before bringing one hand to her breast and cupping it, squeezing lightly. A soft moan fell from Natalie’s lips and Zac squeezed a little harder, wanting to hear more of her magnificent sounds. Her hips bucked up a little and he cursed under his breath. He was wearing entirely too much clothing, and she was so fucking hot. He moved his hand from her breast down her chest, to her stomach, pausing right before it would go between her legs. 

“Don’t tease me.” Natalie whined. He bit his lower lip and let his fingers slip down, slipping inside of her easily. She was so wet, and he couldn’t imagine how tight she would feel around his dick. “Oh fuck.” She whispered as she thrust down onto his fingers. He moved them in and out, pausing to flick at her clit, each time causing her to groan louder and louder. “Zac, I want you inside of me.” He kept moving his fingers and kissed her lightly, shaking his head.  
“You know we can’t.” Natalie’s eyes shot open and looked at him with a piercing stare. 

“Zac, please!” The pleading tone in her voice made him want to give in to her so badly, but they had already discussed sex and they were waiting for marriage. He may have been young, a little drunk, and super horny, but he wasn’t going to throw away his convictions just like that.  
“Nat…” He trailed off as he removed his fingers from inside of her and placed his hand on the mattress next to her. “Come on, please don’t do this.” Natalie pushed him off of her and sat up, grabbing a blanket and covering herself with it. 

“Don’t do what, exactly, Zachary? I love you, you love me, why shouldn’t we be together? Make love to each other, be each other’s firsts!”  
“Natalie, how many times do we need to have this conversation?!” He got up from the bed and crossed his arms over his chest, trying not to lose his temper. He was frustrated, sure, but he was drunk, Natalie was drunk, and getting mad wouldn’t solve anything. “I love you, Nat, but I’ve told you, I’m waiting for marriage to have sex with someone for the first time.” Tears welled up in her eyes and he felt like such an asshole. He went and sat down next to her, bringing a hand to her knee under the blanket. 

“Is it me?” She looked at him with the most vulnerable look on her face, and he almost started crying himself. 

“Nat, no. Baby, you are beautiful, and smart, and everything I could ever want.” She closed her eyes as the tears started to fall. 

“Then I think we should take the next step.” She opened her eyes and before he could protest again, she continued. “Zac, I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to marry you, I want to have babies with you. This is forever for me.” Zac’s heart started pounding and he felt like he was going to throw up. His hand fell from her knee and he looked at her with a look he was sure was one of horror. 

“Nat, what the hell?” He cringed at his own words, they sounded a lot more harsh than he had intended them to, but he was in shock, Sure, they had talked about marriage and babies before, but he was only 16 years old! “I’m only 16 years old! I love you, but don’t you think this is a little too soon?” She visibly shrank back from him as his words hit her. 

“We’ve been together for two years, Zac, and I’m 18 now! I know we may be young, but that doesn’t mean we don’t know what we want.” He sighed and shook his head. 

“Nat, I love you. So much. But I don’t even know what’s going on with my career right now, I can’t throw in getting married on top of that. You have to understand that, right?” He reached out to her, wanting to give her some kind of reassurance, anything to show her that while he was not keen on the idea of marriage, he was still committed to her, but she jerked away from him, not allowing him to touch any part of her body. Natalie shook her head and curled into herself, averting her gaze from him. 

“Just leave then. You don’t want to be with me, so leave.” He groaned in frustration, why was she being so difficult?

“Natalie, I love you. I don’t know how many more times I can say it or show you, but if you want me to leave you alone tonight, fine.” He got up from the bed and walked to the door. Before opening it, he turned to her. “You’ll wake up in the morning, sober, and be really grateful.” She just sniffed in reply, clearly crying. He wanted to go to the bed and wrap her in his arms, kiss her until all of her insecurities melted away. Instead, he did as she asked and left the room. The stupid futon in the basement was calling his name. 

\--

Zac thought that sleep would evade him for the night, considering the fight he and Natalie had had, but apparently the alcohol he had had coupled with the long day was more than enough to knock him out. He didn’t wake up until someone started playing with his hair and poking at his chest. He tried to knock them away, but this just resulted in giggling. The giggling finally made Zac open his eyes to see Natalie lying next to him, a smile on her face. “Hey.” He smiled a little before yawning and stretching out. “You okay?” What he really meant to ask was if they were okay, but he didn’t want to sound so… Young, by asking such a juvenile question. Natalie looked down at the mattress and nodded her head a little.

“Yeah, everything is fine.” She looked back into his face and leaned in, giving him a quick kiss. “I’m sorry for last night.” Zac shook his head immediately and wrapped his arms around Natalie, pulling her close to him.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Nat. You told me how you were feeling. Just because I’m not ready to have sex doesn’t mean that you’re a horrible person for wanting to talk about it with me. That’s the sign of a healthy, mature relationship, right?” He kissed the top of her head. “But…” He trailed off, which caused her to pull back in slight alarm.

“But what?”

“I was thinking last night, and if you need me to prove to you that I’m committed to you and our relationship, then I’ll do it.” He placed a hand on her face and let it stay there while he held her gaze. “I want you to feel comfortable knowing that I want you forever, and if that means having sex, then I’ll do it.” He was a little surprised to see a small frown form on Natalie’s face, wasn’t that what she wanted?

“Zac, no.” He screwed his face up in confusion and pulled back a little, trying to look at her whole face to see if he could figure out why she was saying no. “You don’t need to do anything to prove to me how much you love me. I already know how much you love me, and it was really selfish of me to ask you to prove otherwise.” There was a look on her face, one he had a hard time reading, but instead of pursuing it, he just nodded and smiled at her words. He trusted Natalie, she would never do anything to hurt him.


End file.
